“Why can’t you tell me?”
It is not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be a member of the Order, and the other not. The relationship might be relatively new to an exisiting member, or it could have been decades long before the member joins. One of the questions which almost certainly needs to be addressed when an uninitiated partner is involved is “how much can I tell my partner?”
The answer of course depends on a range of differently factors such as the length and commitment of the relationship, the interests and level of integrity of the partner, and their likely receptivity or hostility (jealousy, fear, embarrassment, mistrust etc) towards the occult, potentially weighted in that order.
While starting from the position that the partner of every member should be considered for Initiation, so that there be almost no barriers between what one partner can tell another, it would also be sage to be mindful that this would also be removing what would usually be a necessary barrier that the individual should normally overcome themselves (under the direction of their Soul), a natural process of enlightenment, the sorting out of the wheat from the chaff, that is best tampered with cautiously.
The Pledge Form that we sign before our Initiation, and the Obligations we commit to are clear that we cannot divulge specifics, such as the name of the Order, the names of the members, or the proceedings of the Ceremonies etc. But there are more generic insights that can be provided that help shape a conversation that hopefully leads to a partner being Initiated, albeit with no expectation that further progress will be sort or achieved.
We may say that membership involves personal ritual and daily meditation, occasional group work including ceremonial timed for events such as the Equinox, and the personal study of occult subjects such as astrology, tarot and the Cabala of the Renaissance.
If not already, the member should be making well known to their partner the importance of a spiritual path to them personally, and conveying the belief that in the Order lies a way for them to progress on this path.
We may also say that the Order is open to both men and women, regardless of their station or vocation in life, be that from artists to academics, business people to priests, politicians to paupers.
Sometimes it is better for a senior member, usually the Demonstrator, to meet with the partner to discuss these things further and more directly, so that the member need not be the messenger caught in the middle.
Providing there is a good degree of integrity and discretion involved, Initiation can be offered, which in many cases is all that is needed to lower any tension that might have developed. This door should be left open, and it might actually be some time before a partner takes up the opportunity, if at all.
But sometimes, unfortunately, there can be too much friction between a member and their partner over their involvement in the Order, that cannot be resolved, in which case the only solution is for the member to cease their activity until they have addressed their personal situation.
This can often happen when a member has a young family, so that other stresses are at play. Traditionally the Kabbalah was not taught until the student was forty years old – by then families have been established so that the study necessary does not distract from with the needed focus on family.
In some cases the member in abeyance will drift away, but if their inner urge is strong, they activate again with time.
Patience is a virtue.
Kasmillos
